Just thought I'd republish this from another blog. I had it listed under dealing with depression but I realise that it applies to so much more and how our fear of change reaches into so many more areas of our psyche......
Understand that you cannot stop being when you change and that change is our very nature - with every breath, heartbeat & thought, we are changing. Know that your future is not black as night, that finding out who you really are is not an unknown journey. You were always you, from the very beginning. Your job now is to uncover YOU and rediscover YOU and explore what the adult YOU loves to do.
So......your new tool is: "I'm an adult now - I can be whatever way I want to be and when I leave my old beliefs behind, I will finally have a chance to be me". The sun is rising before me, its a brand new day and I'm off on an adventure to rediscover ME."
Monday, September 26, 2011
Life and onions
Well.......
Much has come to pass since I last wrote.
I've decided....we're all ogres. Haha....like Shrek.
"Ogres are like onions.....Onions have layers. Ogres have layers."
Turns out our anger has layers too....bitterness is the adult form of anger. We cope with our base anger and hurt with base tools....patterns we learnt in childhood but bitterness is what happens when we grow up, look back and realise the extent of what happened to us. Bitterness creates a judgmental personality. Bitterness wraps us up and justifies every nasty thought, word and action towards those that hurt us anybody that crosses our path at the wrong time. Bitterness blinds us wayyy more effectively than normal anger.
I used to watch the old ladies coming out of the supermarket (when I had to wait for some reason). Looking at the lines on their faces.....the stories of their pasts ingrained on their personalities. How many of them looked soooo bitter with downturned mouths. I remember wondering what could make them that way and hoping it wouldn't happen to me. Now that I'm in my mid-forties, I know what made them that way........it was life.
Youth has a beautiful naievity that I miss terribly. In youth, you believe in everything, so easily. By the time your forties comes around, your heart hasn't just been broken a few times....its been smashed into ground, along with a dash or two of dreams. Most of us have lost babies, homes and loved ones by then. Some of us will have lost all that and a few of us have literally lost eveything - sometimes more than once. In mid-life you have come to understand that life really isn't fair, that those you always thought were there for you - really weren't and can't be. Mid-life is when you wake up to realise that the idea of controlling your world is nothing but an impossible fantasy.
That sounds terrible doesn't it and why would anybody continue to bother....because its not all that shitty - even though some days it feels like it. No life isn't fair but there is an abundance of beauty in amongst the tragedies. There's laughter, cute attacks, friends, best friends, children if your lucky (and they'll just blow you over with sheer incredible-ness), good food, good conversations, pleasure (not neccessarily sex but yes that too), games, good books, sunsets & sunrises, spring, winter, autumn, summer, flowers, buzzy bees, butterflies and many, many beautiful things.
Mid-Life loses its sense of wonder in the world, if bitterness has too much power. But mid-life has a weapon that youth doesn't. Time, focus and observation. We're at a time in our lives, when we've got enough to look back on, enough to summarise with and learn from. By mid-life, we've been watching other people for 20 years - people who are mirrors to ourselves. There's almost a measure of forsight and because of that - there are also epiphanies - moments when we suddenly click and understand something that was holding us back.
Yes.....observation will save you - observation of yourself and those around you. Know thyself - the great healing idiom ingraved upon the temple of Delphi. That and focus - choose to shift your focus from the tragedies to the beautiful moments in between - there are more of them.
Of course....I won't be able to tell you if I'm right for at least another decade....LOL
Much has come to pass since I last wrote.
I've decided....we're all ogres. Haha....like Shrek.
"Ogres are like onions.....Onions have layers. Ogres have layers."
Turns out our anger has layers too....bitterness is the adult form of anger. We cope with our base anger and hurt with base tools....patterns we learnt in childhood but bitterness is what happens when we grow up, look back and realise the extent of what happened to us. Bitterness creates a judgmental personality. Bitterness wraps us up and justifies every nasty thought, word and action towards those that hurt us anybody that crosses our path at the wrong time. Bitterness blinds us wayyy more effectively than normal anger.
I used to watch the old ladies coming out of the supermarket (when I had to wait for some reason). Looking at the lines on their faces.....the stories of their pasts ingrained on their personalities. How many of them looked soooo bitter with downturned mouths. I remember wondering what could make them that way and hoping it wouldn't happen to me. Now that I'm in my mid-forties, I know what made them that way........it was life.
Youth has a beautiful naievity that I miss terribly. In youth, you believe in everything, so easily. By the time your forties comes around, your heart hasn't just been broken a few times....its been smashed into ground, along with a dash or two of dreams. Most of us have lost babies, homes and loved ones by then. Some of us will have lost all that and a few of us have literally lost eveything - sometimes more than once. In mid-life you have come to understand that life really isn't fair, that those you always thought were there for you - really weren't and can't be. Mid-life is when you wake up to realise that the idea of controlling your world is nothing but an impossible fantasy.
That sounds terrible doesn't it and why would anybody continue to bother....because its not all that shitty - even though some days it feels like it. No life isn't fair but there is an abundance of beauty in amongst the tragedies. There's laughter, cute attacks, friends, best friends, children if your lucky (and they'll just blow you over with sheer incredible-ness), good food, good conversations, pleasure (not neccessarily sex but yes that too), games, good books, sunsets & sunrises, spring, winter, autumn, summer, flowers, buzzy bees, butterflies and many, many beautiful things.
Mid-Life loses its sense of wonder in the world, if bitterness has too much power. But mid-life has a weapon that youth doesn't. Time, focus and observation. We're at a time in our lives, when we've got enough to look back on, enough to summarise with and learn from. By mid-life, we've been watching other people for 20 years - people who are mirrors to ourselves. There's almost a measure of forsight and because of that - there are also epiphanies - moments when we suddenly click and understand something that was holding us back.
Yes.....observation will save you - observation of yourself and those around you. Know thyself - the great healing idiom ingraved upon the temple of Delphi. That and focus - choose to shift your focus from the tragedies to the beautiful moments in between - there are more of them.
Of course....I won't be able to tell you if I'm right for at least another decade....LOL
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
The gift of a children's movie
Sometimes we find our messages in the most unlikely places - places that, as adults, we wouldn't normally take seriously. Perhaps standing taller than our children (as we are naturally inclined to do having 'grown up'), we tend to miss things presented to us on a simpler scale. Like movies such as KungFu Panda2. My family and I saw it the other day and when I think of that movie...I get a warm glow. I loved the first one but I LOVE the second. Truly a gift of beauty. Why? Because presented throughout the movie were ideas that my adult mind just hasn't been able to get past by thinking rationally.
The main character Po comes to discover that his people were the victims of a murderous campaign against them that was brought about by a prophecy. He finds his way through this emotional minefield, discovering his true heart and inner peace along the way. Throughout the movie is the message.....'Your past doesn't have to define who you are.'
It's such a simple message that I have heard before and even understood but for some reason it never actually got through. It's frustrating when you've actually pinpointed a behaviour and you know it's there. You know when it came into being and the mindset that created it but you can't for the life of you get past it. Something hasn't gelled somewhere and you're still holding onto it. I was discussing this very thing with a beautiful friend of mine who said that sometimes a person can hold onto these things because they have come to believe that that pain defines them. For that person, they have co-existed with their pain for so long that they are to afraid to find out who they could be without that pain.
It sounds a little loopy but perhaps some of these things need to be presented to us at a child's level. It was at a child's age that the damage was done, deliberately or otherwise. In response to the original emotional wounding, we naturally develop a defence mechanism. Once that defence mechanism has been established, we simply stop developing ways to cope with that particular pain. As far as our psyche is concerned, it has a solution. It doesn't take into account that the solution may be just a quick fix and won't continue to work later on. It's like a seed pod that gets harder and harder and eventually the seed inside starts to shrivel and perish because nourishment no longer reaches it and it cannot grow. There are seeds in this world that literally require a bushfire to crack its outer covering. Perhaps we're not so different. Many of us miss our lessons again and again till the lesson comes around so brutal, its a sink or swim situation.
But for once - this time - there's a beautiful way to see and and hear and understand.
The message that made me cry (and still does) came from the Soothsayer.....
So there it is......
Stand up my lovelies and visualise the people who represent your pain.....the people from whom the painful words and actions issued from like flaming arrows through your heart....see them for the human beings they really are....understand that their actions are born of their own pain and their own fears and say to those illusions......
Then step forward to discover with wonder who you really are and who you want to be.
Here and now is where you have the power to do that.
The main character Po comes to discover that his people were the victims of a murderous campaign against them that was brought about by a prophecy. He finds his way through this emotional minefield, discovering his true heart and inner peace along the way. Throughout the movie is the message.....'Your past doesn't have to define who you are.'
It's such a simple message that I have heard before and even understood but for some reason it never actually got through. It's frustrating when you've actually pinpointed a behaviour and you know it's there. You know when it came into being and the mindset that created it but you can't for the life of you get past it. Something hasn't gelled somewhere and you're still holding onto it. I was discussing this very thing with a beautiful friend of mine who said that sometimes a person can hold onto these things because they have come to believe that that pain defines them. For that person, they have co-existed with their pain for so long that they are to afraid to find out who they could be without that pain.
It sounds a little loopy but perhaps some of these things need to be presented to us at a child's level. It was at a child's age that the damage was done, deliberately or otherwise. In response to the original emotional wounding, we naturally develop a defence mechanism. Once that defence mechanism has been established, we simply stop developing ways to cope with that particular pain. As far as our psyche is concerned, it has a solution. It doesn't take into account that the solution may be just a quick fix and won't continue to work later on. It's like a seed pod that gets harder and harder and eventually the seed inside starts to shrivel and perish because nourishment no longer reaches it and it cannot grow. There are seeds in this world that literally require a bushfire to crack its outer covering. Perhaps we're not so different. Many of us miss our lessons again and again till the lesson comes around so brutal, its a sink or swim situation.
But for once - this time - there's a beautiful way to see and and hear and understand.
The message that made me cry (and still does) came from the Soothsayer.....
"Your story may not have had a happy beginning but that doesn't make you who you are - it is the rest of your story - who you choose to be."And another from Po himself......
"You gotta let go of that stuff from the past because it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now."
So there it is......
Stand up my lovelies and visualise the people who represent your pain.....the people from whom the painful words and actions issued from like flaming arrows through your heart....see them for the human beings they really are....understand that their actions are born of their own pain and their own fears and say to those illusions......
YOU DO NOT DEFINE ME.
Then step forward to discover with wonder who you really are and who you want to be.
Here and now is where you have the power to do that.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Delusions
I am tormented by injustice.....
...by the scores of people killed by drunk drivers and their suffering families who have little or no comeback - whose victim impact statement is censored so as not to upset the killer in court...and by the judges who not only fail to send the killer to jail for more than 3 yrs, but often hand down sentences of home detention for less than 2 years.
...by the 38 NZ children tortured and murdered by their own families in the last five years.
...by the manufacturers putting countless poisons in our food and skin products to save money...and the government that knowingly allows it.
...by the government that allows our babies to be used in drug trials and not only fails to inform parents that the drug only holds an experimental license but starts an advertising campaign implying you're a bad parent if you don't expose your child to that drug.
...by the government who passes laws to protect the investments and trust funds of the MPs while taxing every New Zealander 15% to buy the basic necessities of life.
And that's just in my own backyard.
And I am appalled by the people who continue to spout on about how wonderful the human race is and how what I perceive as the world around me is in reality a reflection of how I really feel about myself. And how whatever happens to people...they must have attracted to themselves.
Could they seriously look a child in the eye, who has lost everything to some petty war over nothing but money and oil and tell them they must have thought their nightmare up and made it happen?
How deluded can people be? Are they blind - do they choose not to see it?
Are they deliberately ignoring the sheer quantity of evil in our world? Which is worse?
And what can we do? I understand that dwelling on these things will make a person ill but I think its wrong to ignore that it happens - it supports it, in my mind. A very dear and wise friend of mine said...that you do what you can but you just have to let the human shit that happens fall away from you. She's right. So for self-preservation and the sanity of my family, I can remember and mourn but I have to look past it and leave things at doing what I can, when I can.
I came across this brilliant quote but I can't remember most of it or who said it....kicking myself for that but never mind. It basically said that if you wanted to change things - to change the world - you had to come up with an alternative that made the current status quo obsolete.
I wonder if thats what religion was intended to do.
...by the scores of people killed by drunk drivers and their suffering families who have little or no comeback - whose victim impact statement is censored so as not to upset the killer in court...and by the judges who not only fail to send the killer to jail for more than 3 yrs, but often hand down sentences of home detention for less than 2 years.
...by the 38 NZ children tortured and murdered by their own families in the last five years.
...by the manufacturers putting countless poisons in our food and skin products to save money...and the government that knowingly allows it.
...by the government that allows our babies to be used in drug trials and not only fails to inform parents that the drug only holds an experimental license but starts an advertising campaign implying you're a bad parent if you don't expose your child to that drug.
...by the government who passes laws to protect the investments and trust funds of the MPs while taxing every New Zealander 15% to buy the basic necessities of life.
And that's just in my own backyard.
And I am appalled by the people who continue to spout on about how wonderful the human race is and how what I perceive as the world around me is in reality a reflection of how I really feel about myself. And how whatever happens to people...they must have attracted to themselves.
Could they seriously look a child in the eye, who has lost everything to some petty war over nothing but money and oil and tell them they must have thought their nightmare up and made it happen?
How deluded can people be? Are they blind - do they choose not to see it?
Are they deliberately ignoring the sheer quantity of evil in our world? Which is worse?
And what can we do? I understand that dwelling on these things will make a person ill but I think its wrong to ignore that it happens - it supports it, in my mind. A very dear and wise friend of mine said...that you do what you can but you just have to let the human shit that happens fall away from you. She's right. So for self-preservation and the sanity of my family, I can remember and mourn but I have to look past it and leave things at doing what I can, when I can.
I came across this brilliant quote but I can't remember most of it or who said it....kicking myself for that but never mind. It basically said that if you wanted to change things - to change the world - you had to come up with an alternative that made the current status quo obsolete.
I wonder if thats what religion was intended to do.
Monday, May 16, 2011
The truth about self....
When we come into contact with another being....they too sit within their own universe. The two may influence each other, simply by their vibrations, but in the end what stays whole and sacrosanct within our personal universe is up to us.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
My take on depression.....
Twice in three days have I been asked about my take on depression. What I think it is and where it comes from - that sort of thing. So I thought I might take a cue from the universe and put this one out there.....
I'm not trained in the ways of the mind in any way - but you'll probably guess that anyway - meh! lol. I know people who are trained but they often seem more screwed up than me so I haven't gone there because I don't know that it helps to do anything much more than avoid what's getting under your own skin.
So anyway...my take....
Everybody has priority circles of importance and they are governed by whatever 'coping' mechanisms we have put in place in our early years. Nobody - and I mean NOBODY - can humanly keep all those souls that matter to them (no matter how much they matter to them) in the number one priority circle all the time. Sometimes circumstance will shift things and the choices left are pretty much the devil and the deep blue sea.
At some point in our childhood, we experienced one of those shifts and we came to know that we weren't in our parents number one priority circle. 'Came to know' - not 'came to understand'. It might have been something simple and innocent like.....'Daddy has to go to work - when the two year old desperately wants them to stay'. Or for the more unfortunate, it could have been something terrible like.....abandonment or a death of a parent or a betrayal. We deal with these moments with whatever tools we have at the time and if you're very young (which you always are) you cannot hope to understand what's going on. That's why many of the coping mechanisms or behaviour patterns that deal with similar situations that remind us of that moment (regardless of whether or not we actually remember it) seem immature and inadequate.
Every time we are reminded thereafter, that we are not in the number one priority circle of those we hold most dearly, it cuts a little deeper because we are still viewing it through our child-mind's eyes - still dealing with it the same way.
If you are unfortunate and it continues to happen to you repeatedly throughout your childhood - it will leave you with a self-worth issue. Eventually you can come to believe that you have little worth. Depression happens when you are reminded of that belief. What we have to do then - is remember that it was never true. That what other people say or do does not have to define us. That we matter - more than we know in many cases. That we can choose to pay attention to the beautiful things in life or the crap. I know what I'd much rather pay attention to.
Understand that everything that lives and breathes is unique to the universe. Everything that lives and breathes has an important place at the very centre of its own personal spiritual universe, regardless of the vessel. And everything that lives and breathes was chosen by the Divine to share all that they have learnt with everything else forever more.
There is no exception to that rule. And nothing ever changes it. No matter what anybody does to you - no matter what is said to you - nothing changes it. It's more constant than taxes.
I'm not trained in the ways of the mind in any way - but you'll probably guess that anyway - meh! lol. I know people who are trained but they often seem more screwed up than me so I haven't gone there because I don't know that it helps to do anything much more than avoid what's getting under your own skin.
So anyway...my take....
Everybody has priority circles of importance and they are governed by whatever 'coping' mechanisms we have put in place in our early years. Nobody - and I mean NOBODY - can humanly keep all those souls that matter to them (no matter how much they matter to them) in the number one priority circle all the time. Sometimes circumstance will shift things and the choices left are pretty much the devil and the deep blue sea.
At some point in our childhood, we experienced one of those shifts and we came to know that we weren't in our parents number one priority circle. 'Came to know' - not 'came to understand'. It might have been something simple and innocent like.....'Daddy has to go to work - when the two year old desperately wants them to stay'. Or for the more unfortunate, it could have been something terrible like.....abandonment or a death of a parent or a betrayal. We deal with these moments with whatever tools we have at the time and if you're very young (which you always are) you cannot hope to understand what's going on. That's why many of the coping mechanisms or behaviour patterns that deal with similar situations that remind us of that moment (regardless of whether or not we actually remember it) seem immature and inadequate.
Every time we are reminded thereafter, that we are not in the number one priority circle of those we hold most dearly, it cuts a little deeper because we are still viewing it through our child-mind's eyes - still dealing with it the same way.
If you are unfortunate and it continues to happen to you repeatedly throughout your childhood - it will leave you with a self-worth issue. Eventually you can come to believe that you have little worth. Depression happens when you are reminded of that belief. What we have to do then - is remember that it was never true. That what other people say or do does not have to define us. That we matter - more than we know in many cases. That we can choose to pay attention to the beautiful things in life or the crap. I know what I'd much rather pay attention to.
Understand that everything that lives and breathes is unique to the universe. Everything that lives and breathes has an important place at the very centre of its own personal spiritual universe, regardless of the vessel. And everything that lives and breathes was chosen by the Divine to share all that they have learnt with everything else forever more.
There is no exception to that rule. And nothing ever changes it. No matter what anybody does to you - no matter what is said to you - nothing changes it. It's more constant than taxes.
Social Conditioning
Now I like to think that I'm hopefully a bit of an evolving soul. I think about how I feel about some things and why. I often try to examine my reactions to things, uncover the source and whether or not it's a valid reaction. I understand that my body is a vessel for me to walk around in - it helps to color my perceptions of my world but it doesn't define me. And I acknowledge that I need to be grateful to my body for its service these many years and amazed that it still has all its fingers and toes intact - no thanks to me. And I like to think that if I actually spot unreasonable social conditioning - I'll think about it.
But this morning, social conditioning snuck up behind me and smacked me round the ears.
Can't say I'm happy about that.
The day had started with a somewhat disjointed flavour - not unsurprising nor unmanageable. The daughter still managed to make it to her kindy by about 10....9 would be better but hey, she's four. I hadn't had any breakfast or caffeine-related substances so my darling husband suggested that he drop me off at a local cafe and I could grab a nice breakfast and read some magazines while he worked on another job. Perfect.
And it was. I walked in, good service straight away and a rather delectable muffin (bacon, brie, rocket & corn) that clearly had my name on it. It was gorgeous too and the coffee was perfect. So I'm sitting there flipping through a magazine feeling perfectly balanced in the world and I just happened to glance over at the next table.
And that's when it struck. BOOM! Instant dislike for a group of perfectly innocent ladies sitting down to their breakfast. Instant jealously. Instant dissatisfaction at myself, my body, society as a whole, doctors who are too posh to listen and the greatest object of insult - my perfect breakfast muffin.
There they were, a group of lovely ladies half my size (and that's the crux of the matter), tucking into the most beautiful (and disgusting) big plate of pancakes - drizzled in maple syrup, covered in passionfruit sauce and topped with sliced bananas and cream. I couldn't believe it. I looked at the few crumbs left on my own plate and felt completely cheated and it worsened when I realised that even if I had the guts to order something like that (which I just wouldn't do in a public place)......it would be eventually spoilt with 'the looks', and the sideways comments and the unsolicited dietary advice from complete strangers.
Why can't I eat like that? I don't know. It wouldn't matter if I could anyway because I have no sense of smell or taste. It would only taste like sugar to me. I don't know why that is either but it makes me very sad. It's been like that for at least a decade and I would love to taste real cheesecake - just a little bit. Or the bacon in my breakfast muffin (its good for texture and the 'idea' that it's delicious but I can't actually tell its there unless I see it). And sometimes I wonder - how much taste difference is there between different cheeses? Or meats? Can you actually tell if you're eating turkey as opposed to chicken? Every time I go to doctor - they give me a nasal spray and say come back in a few weeks. Feckking quacks.
I think I might go have another shot at getting one to actually to do their damn job. Fat prejudice must be killing alot of fat people because all doctors seem interested in doing, if you're more than a foot wide, is test you for diabetes and high cholesterol. Neither of which I've displayed in the many times I've been tested by the way. But hey its only fat people right? When they die we can just put it down to fat - we won't look at the years of yoyo dieting that destroyed their metabolism causing an inability to actually digest or process their food properly, the diet pills that degraded the heart muscle, the artificial sweeteners that were neurotoxins and resulted in lesions and strokes, or the depression or the ...or the... or the....plethora of reasons as to why an obese person really kicked the bucket. People just aren't interested - unless it's happening to them. And fat prejudice must be the last legal prejudice, I guess.
But really none of this is the issue. I feel bitter. I feel cheated. But the truth is I'm doing it to myself. I remember somebody saying years and years ago, 'Another persons opinion of you - is none of your business'. It pissed me off at the time because I really didn't understand it but I think I have a glimmer now....
If you understand that you are the single most important thing in your own spiritual universe, then what someone else does or says in theirs has no bearing on you unless you allow it to. Sometimes it takes a moment to remember these things.
Breathe out. Look at something beautiful. And settle back into your own universe. Excellent.
And that is why blogging is good for me. Ha.
But this morning, social conditioning snuck up behind me and smacked me round the ears.
Can't say I'm happy about that.
The day had started with a somewhat disjointed flavour - not unsurprising nor unmanageable. The daughter still managed to make it to her kindy by about 10....9 would be better but hey, she's four. I hadn't had any breakfast or caffeine-related substances so my darling husband suggested that he drop me off at a local cafe and I could grab a nice breakfast and read some magazines while he worked on another job. Perfect.
And it was. I walked in, good service straight away and a rather delectable muffin (bacon, brie, rocket & corn) that clearly had my name on it. It was gorgeous too and the coffee was perfect. So I'm sitting there flipping through a magazine feeling perfectly balanced in the world and I just happened to glance over at the next table.
And that's when it struck. BOOM! Instant dislike for a group of perfectly innocent ladies sitting down to their breakfast. Instant jealously. Instant dissatisfaction at myself, my body, society as a whole, doctors who are too posh to listen and the greatest object of insult - my perfect breakfast muffin.
There they were, a group of lovely ladies half my size (and that's the crux of the matter), tucking into the most beautiful (and disgusting) big plate of pancakes - drizzled in maple syrup, covered in passionfruit sauce and topped with sliced bananas and cream. I couldn't believe it. I looked at the few crumbs left on my own plate and felt completely cheated and it worsened when I realised that even if I had the guts to order something like that (which I just wouldn't do in a public place)......it would be eventually spoilt with 'the looks', and the sideways comments and the unsolicited dietary advice from complete strangers.
Why can't I eat like that? I don't know. It wouldn't matter if I could anyway because I have no sense of smell or taste. It would only taste like sugar to me. I don't know why that is either but it makes me very sad. It's been like that for at least a decade and I would love to taste real cheesecake - just a little bit. Or the bacon in my breakfast muffin (its good for texture and the 'idea' that it's delicious but I can't actually tell its there unless I see it). And sometimes I wonder - how much taste difference is there between different cheeses? Or meats? Can you actually tell if you're eating turkey as opposed to chicken? Every time I go to doctor - they give me a nasal spray and say come back in a few weeks. Feckking quacks.
I think I might go have another shot at getting one to actually to do their damn job. Fat prejudice must be killing alot of fat people because all doctors seem interested in doing, if you're more than a foot wide, is test you for diabetes and high cholesterol. Neither of which I've displayed in the many times I've been tested by the way. But hey its only fat people right? When they die we can just put it down to fat - we won't look at the years of yoyo dieting that destroyed their metabolism causing an inability to actually digest or process their food properly, the diet pills that degraded the heart muscle, the artificial sweeteners that were neurotoxins and resulted in lesions and strokes, or the depression or the ...or the... or the....plethora of reasons as to why an obese person really kicked the bucket. People just aren't interested - unless it's happening to them. And fat prejudice must be the last legal prejudice, I guess.
But really none of this is the issue. I feel bitter. I feel cheated. But the truth is I'm doing it to myself. I remember somebody saying years and years ago, 'Another persons opinion of you - is none of your business'. It pissed me off at the time because I really didn't understand it but I think I have a glimmer now....
If you understand that you are the single most important thing in your own spiritual universe, then what someone else does or says in theirs has no bearing on you unless you allow it to. Sometimes it takes a moment to remember these things.
Breathe out. Look at something beautiful. And settle back into your own universe. Excellent.
And that is why blogging is good for me. Ha.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)