The human pschye is an amazing place but it has a tendency to gravitate toward the negative. How many of us become the criticisims of the people around us. Its so easy to take the ideas that others impose upon us for their own very human reasons and keep them as precious core beliefs. Painful memories are more easily called upon than happy ones. Rather than let things go and release our pain, we tend to hold on to it.....stuffing it down inside ourselves to keep it where we want it. And why would we want it? Why would we work so hard to keep it? Because we have in our minds the idea that the person who caused the pain can be changed - that their attitude towards us can be changed - that one day they will say sorry and they will be the person we hope they will be.
We don't have to give up on them to release that pain. We just have to accept them as they are.....that that's just where they're at and their reasons for being they way they are...are very very human - just as we are who are for the same reasons.
And the truth is.....whether or not they change is irrelevant. If they did turn around and apologise and change and become the person our idealistic label for them tells us they should be.....the chances are we would find some other reason to hold onto that pain. Because we have convinced ourselves we need it. It has become such an integral part of us for so long that we are addicted to it - like cocaine. And just like cocaine - it makes us sick - in body and mind. We must kick it or we can never evolve.
So it is a habit and it is not our natural state of being. When we start to dwell on the negative, when we call up the memories that hurt, when we indulge in the criticisms of others that we know not to be true.....we gotta try to remember to reach for the positive. A happy memory or a mantra to use as a weapon. Eventually it will become instinctive. When that happens we will start to really win.
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